Angels Return Home
by faramir in ithilien
Summary: Pippin's daughter, a child he cherishes, dies after only a month. There is only one who understands and can heal his grief. Rating will change possibly later in the story.
1. The Fairest Angel

A/N: I know Merry and Pippin aren't brothers, but they're so close that's pretty much what they are. So I just had Faramir call Merry his "Uncle Merry." I don't have my book, so I don't know what year this is set in. A Pippin plushie to anyone who can tell me the date this would be set if Pippin's son, Faramir, is five.   


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story except for Pippin's daughter. J.R.R. Tolkien owns the characters, although it would be pretty nifty if I did own them.   
  
  


The sun is fading outside, and still we wait. I can't remember how long it's been, but surely it has been quite a while.

On my lap, Faramir yawns, then turns his little head up to look at me. "When, Papa?"

"Soon, darling, just be patient." I kiss the top of his curly head.

"Papa! I'm tired of being patient!" He whined. "Can I go and see Mama?"

"Faramir, hush and listen to your father." Merry says. Faramir sighs, and looks at the door, leaning back on my chest. The large grandfather clock ticks slowly in the corner of the hallway where we sit, outside the infirmary, waiting for news of my wife. The three of us, myself, my five-year-old son, Faramir, and my cousin, Meriadoc Brandybuck, sit and wait. Merry's here not only because, as my favourite relative and closest friend, but also because I want him named godfather for my second child. He already has that honour with Faramir.   


The door to the infirmary opens slowly, and all three of us look up. Goldie, the nursemaid gives us a reassuring smile.

"Master Peregrin, if you'd like to come in."

Putting Faramir on the chair next to me, I stood up, going towards the door.

"Papa! Let me come too!" Faramir cries. His eager little eyes shine brightly, filled with worry. He holds his hands up to me, hoping I'll pick him up. I shake my head, though.

"No, Faramir, you wait here with Uncle Merry. Your Mama is probably tired. I'll bring out the little one for you to see."

"Okay, Papa." Faramir says, a bit disappointed. He knows my word is final, and there is usually nothing that he can say to change my mind. He goes over to Merry and climbs into his lap, sucking his thumb. I laugh to myself, and go inside the room.

Diamond lays still on the bed. I go over to her, kissing her hand softly. Her hair is soaked with sweat, so I brush it back from her face. Her eyes flutter open, and she smiles at me.

"Good morning, love." Diamond says. She looks pale and exhausted, but her face is set with that boldness I love about her. I offer he a weak smile.

"Hello, Diamond. How are you feeling?"

"Just a little tired. It's a girl, Peregrin."

"A girl? Where is she?"

"They're cleaning her up. She didn't cry when she was born, so they're just making sure she's all right."

"Are you all right?

"Yes, darling, I'm all right. Where's Faramir?"

"Outside with Merry. I told him he should wait."

"It's all right, let him come in."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I want to see him."

I don't want to let go of her hand. I kiss her forehead.

"I'll be right back. I promise."

She smiles, nods. I go to the door, to the hallway. Merry has fallen asleep, and Faramir looks bored.

"Faramir?" I say. He looks up.

"Papa! Can I--"

"Come here, your Mama wants to see you. Don't wake your uncle."

With a nod, he climbed from off of Merry's lap and walked over to me, taking my hand. I lead him inside the room. He seemed a little shy to approach Diamond, but she beckoned him over. Perhaps he feared she had died or was dying. When his suspicions were disproved, he scampered over to the bed and buried his head in Diamond's arm.

"Oh, Mama, Mama!"

"Hi, baby." She said, kissing the top of his head. "Were you good for your Papa?"

"Yes, Mama, yes, I was good. Where's my baby? Mama, where's my baby?" He looked a little frantic. Diamond smiled.

"Goldie!" she called, her head turning towards the little atrium room on the left of the infirmary. "Goldie, if it's all right, bring the baby in."

"Yes, lady." Came the reply. While we waited, Diamond stroked Faramir's curls, watching me from her clear blue eyes. I smiled at her, and my attention turned towards the nursemaid, who was bringing in a small bundle. Faramir was the first to jump up. His blue eyes widened, and the nursemaid lowered the bundle so that he could see his baby sister. He gasped.

"Oh, Mama, Papa, she's so beautiful!" He turned and climbed back in my lap, and the nursemaid brought the baby over and placed her gently in Diamond's arms, before hurrying off again. I scooted over so that I could see the baby better, and I realized why my son had gasped. She truly was beautiful, one of the most beautiful babies I'd ever seen. Her eyes were a deep blue-grey, and her hair was light brown and wispy. She was a healthy baby pink, so small, but so perfect. She opened her small eyes and looked up at me, blinking. Then, she turned her gaze to Diamond and Faramir, each in turn. Diamond gasped in shock.

"P-Peregrin! You know what they say? That babies this age can't focus on individual things?"

"Diamond, I think she knows we're her family. Look at her. She knows."

A noise from the door caused a bit of alarm to pass over me. Whirling around, I saw Merry standing in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked him.

"Long enough." Was all he'd say.

Wiping away tears from my eyes, I told him, "Come over and see your goddaughter, Mer."

He came and looked at her, and as she'd done before, her eyes went over to look at him. He let out a small gasp, and then a smile broke out on his face.

"What are you going to call her, Pip?"

"We hadn't really decided…Diamond?"

"I was hoping you would name her, Peregrin. Or give Merry the honour of doing it."

"Merry?"

My cousin turns to look at me. "Me? You want me to name her?"

"Of course. Go on, pick one."

He thinks for a moment, getting that odd look in his eyes, the one I'd seen all too often when we were younger. He used it when he was thinking hard about something, and I think for once in his life, he wasn't using it to cause trouble.

"Niphredil." He said finally. It was a good name, one to fit a child so beautiful like mine. I laughed.

"Niphredil, it is. Come, Faramir, let your mother and sister rest. We've got lots to do if we're to celebrate the birth of my beautiful little flower."   
  


A/N: There's a Merry AND Legolas plushie for anyone who can tell me why I chose the name Niphredil for Pip's daughter!


	2. Conversations

A/N: Short chapter, but It's very sweet, and hobbity. Aw. But then it gets a little sad. Aw.   


PLUSHIE TIME!!!! YAY!! Ok, so everyone who answered correctly gets a plushie!! *Passes out plushies to their respective new owners* 

Pippin plushies to: Kate Fairbairn, Aruraya, and QTpie-pippinsgurl.   
Merry and Pippin plushies for Merry_one, who gave me extra help, and to Marion, who requested a Merry plushie rather than Legolas one.   
Merry/Legolas plushies to: Aruraya and Firiel. 

Now onto the story! Still in Pip's POV. 

Disclaimer: Pip? Nope. Merry? Nope. Diamond, Faramir? Nope. Niphredil, yes, to a degree. The story and plot's all mine.   
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_This has got to be the most boring job in the world. _I think to myself, as I sit in my study, pondering over old maps and letters. I can hear, from the kitchen, Merry and Faramir laughing, as they do the dishes together, not doubt splashing water onto one another. It's been such a help having Merry around to help me out. Diamond's at Brandy Hall now, still recovering from the birth last month, with Merry's wife, Estella, keeping her company. Estella's finding it quite enjoyable to be in charge of Buckland while Merry's here at Tuckborough. It's a handful with Faramir and Niphredil. But Faramir's a good big brother, and he's very attached to his little sister. 

"PAPA!!" A small blur runs into the room and jumps onto my lap. "PAPA!! Uncle Merry's scaring me!" 

Merry appears in the doorway, one hand over his mouth, half shaking in laughter. 

"What have you done to him this time?" I ask my cousin. 

"He started it, Pip. You ask your little beast there what happened." 

"Faramir?" 

"No, no, no, Papa, it was Uncle Merry, I didn't do anything!" 

"Alright, little one, you go and watch your sister, and I'll have a talk with your mean old uncle." 

"Ok, Papa." Faramir jumped from my lap and ran off out into the hallway towards Niphredil's room. When he was gone, I heaved a sigh, and looked at Merry. 

"What happened?" 

Merry laughed. "Nothing, nothing. He's a handful, Pip. I don't know how you manage." 

"It's easy, Merry, and you're giving us lots of extra help, too. I don't know why you and Estella don't want your own." 

"Too much of a handful. You know Estella." Merry rolled his eyes, and laughed. "Besides, I remember when we were little. What if we have children who turn out like us?" 

"You couldn't be talking about me?" I say, my eyes widening innocently. "Sweet, innocent, little Peregrin Took, who never ever got in trouble on his own free will and was always being dragged into trouble by big, bad Meriadoc Brandybuck?" 

"We're not talking about the same hobbit lad, are we? I'm talking about naughty little Peregrin Took who always broke things and blamed it on his poor older cousin, who always got in trouble." 

It's times like these that I'm glad Merry's my cousin. No matter what I did to him when we were little, he always loved me, and always protected me from anything. 

"If you did have a son, what would you name him?" 

He gets that thinking look again, and grins at me. "Aragorn." 

We both snort with laughter. "Oh, come, Merry, seriously. How Hobbit-like is that?" 

"I'm being serious, Pip. You named your son Faramir, which, may I remind you, is also not "Hobbit-like", so what says I can't call mine after the King of Gondor? After all, if not for him, we might not be here." 

"I'm hurt, Merry, that you wouldn't name him after me." 

"Why should I? You didn't name your son after me!" He protests, laughter dancing in his eyes. 

"Maybe next time I will." I say, rolling my eyes at him and sticking out my tongue. 

"You are _so_ immature, Pippin." Merry says, rolling his eyes, and shaking his head. "You always were." 

"Well, I'm younger, aren't I?" 

"Still," 

"Remember, Merry, remember that one time we took Annabella Bolger with us to raid Farmer Maggot's crops?" 

"Oh, how could I forget? The Hobbit lass I had an infatuation on for seven months? You told me to give her that apple, and there was a worm in it, and she ate the worm?" 

"Bit it right in half!" 

"Yes, and she slapped me, and told me she hated me, and stormed off and hasn't spoken to me since?" 

"Yes, that's the one!" 

"You knew that worm was in that apple, didn't you, Pippin?" 

I shrug innocently. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." 

"Why you little...you little..." I have to hold in the will to laugh, as Merry tries to think up an insult to throw at me. "You little worm!" 

"Oh, Merry that was awful. I know you can come up with a better insult than that." 

He just started to open his mouth again, when Faramir came running in the room. He pulled on my shirt. 

"Papa, Papa! PAPA!" He screamed. 

"Shh, Faramir, be quiet, you'll wake your sister." At this, he burst into enourmous tears. 

"Papa! She's blue and she won't wake up, and I tried to make her wake up, but she won't, and she won't move!" 


	3. The Passing

A/N: This is Merry's POV. I'm really sorry for the long wait. I was trying to fix our floppy disk drive and broke the computer. I couldn't turn it on, or anything, and so I had to suffer. It took some time for us to contact the guy who was fixing it, but we finally did, and everything is alright now. I'll get the next chapters up for my other stories as soon as possible!   
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Pippin is my cousin, and I love him dearly, but when I saw the look of pain and shock on his face, I didn't know what to do. He was in shock, staring straight ahead. It was no seizure, for his eyes blinked and he was shaking with fear. After trying to get his father's attention for a few minutes, Faramir came over to me. 

"Uncle Merry! Please come and help her!" I looked into his sweet face, and it broke my heart. I stood and took his hand, but first went to Pippin. 

"I'll be back, Pip. Don't worry, I'll be here. It's going to be all right. I promise." 

It was a promise that seemed false. Baby Niphredil was blue, and she wasn't moving, so Faramir said. How could I promise she would be all right if she wasn't? How could I be sure of my own promises?   
  


I let Faramir lead me into the nursery. He peered over the side of the little bassinet where his baby sister lay. Sure enough, she was a very pale blue. Her chest did not rise up and down, and when I put my hand on her heart, I felt nothing. Her pulse also brought nothing. She was dead. 

"Uncle Merry, why isn't she moving?" 

"Faramir..." With a deep sigh, I took the little one onto my lap as I moved to sit in the rocking chair in the room. "Faramir, your sister...she has...or had something rare. It must run through the Took line. My own sister had it." 

"You had a sister, Uncle Merry? Where is she?" 

"Dead, Faramir. She died on the eve of her first month. I was quite small, then, perhaps your age, maybe a little younger. Do you remember how the birth of hobbit children isn't to be annouced to anyone outside the family until forty days after the baby is born?" 

"Yes, I know." 

"No one ever knew about my sister, except for myself and father, mother, and a select few servants. My mother and father chose not to tell anyone about the little one. She was never spoken of, and I was told never to tell anyone about what had happened. They told me, briefly, what had happened. What this is, it usually strikes one out of every ten thousand hobbit children. It is a very rare sort of thing, passed on in families. Sometimes, it just springs up. It has been known to skip at least six generations, and reappear in the seventh. It's called....called...hold on, let me think....ah yes, it's called Acinius. It usually always happens to the second child, though sometimes it's the third or fourth. Once you have a child struck by it, you can never have children again. I don't know why that is, but you, Faramir, have a very good chance of being the only child in this family." 

My explanation was, I knew, not too difficult for him to understand, for he had a truly great mind, smart for his age. I could see in his eyes, the same look his father had, when he was thinking hard, piecing things together. 

"I loved my sister." He said finally. 

"I know you did. Your father and mother loved her dearly, as they loves you. I'm sorry this had to happen to your family. You would have made such a good brother, Faramir." 

"Uncle Merry, can I ask you something?" 

"What is it?" 

"I listened to you and Papa talking before I came to see my sister. You said you and Auntie Estella didn't want any children. Is this why? You don't want her to be said about this, in case you have it too?" 

The question jolted me, and I looked into his deep blue eyes. They were searching my own eyes. I lowered my head. 

"That's part of the reason, yes." 

"I wish I had some cousins..." 

"Faramir, you have three aunts and twelve cousins!" 

"I mean, I wish you had a son. I wish I had a cousin like my papa had with you. I don't like my cousins. They're mean, and they pick on me. I'm younger than them all, except for Desmonia and Rose, and they're just as mean." He sniffled, and wiped his nose. 

"Go into the washroom and wash your face and get changed for supper. I'm going to go and talk with Pi-with your father. If the door is shut when you finish, come to sit with your sister and watch over her, ok?" 

"Yes, Uncle Merry." He climbed from my lap and hugged me. "Thank you."   
  
  


When I went back into Pippin's study, he was turned back around, facing his desk, sitting there, staring at the window. I put my hand on his shoulder gently, and he jumped and turned to look at me. His green eyes were stained with tears. 

"Why us?" He said. "Why us? Why us?" 

"You know what it could mean? It's called Acinius. I had a sister who died from it." 

"You never had a sister." He said quietly. 

"I did. She died, though, before her introduction day. The eve of her first month." 

"This is the eve of Niphredil's first month, Merry." 

"I feared it would happen. I don't know why. I feared it. You're lucky to have a healthy son to carry on your name."   


"I'd rather have a healthy son to carry on my name and a healthy daughter at the same time."   


"Things don't work that way all the time, Pippin." 

"Why not?" He snapped. He was angry and scared, I could tell. I wanted to take him in my arms and soothe him, as I had done when we were younger, but we were too old for that now, and it would seem awkward. 

"Do you want to go for a walk, Pippin?" 

"A walk?" 

"Before it's time for supper. You can talk with me." 

"I have to finish my work." He said. There was a spark of anger in his voice I'd never heard before. I reached and pulled the quill from his hand. 

"Walk with me, Pippin. You have to get your anger out." 

"You're right, Merry. Can you tell...tell Goldie to give Faramir his supper and put him down for a nap. I don't know how long this may take. I'm all mixed up inside." 

Nodding, I quickly went to inform the nursery maid what to do with Faramir, and where the Thain and I were going. I also informed her of what had happened to Niphredil. Not in full, but I told her what she should have known. Eyes wide, hand over her mouth in disbelief, she nodded, and went into the nursery. I heard a gasp, but didn't stay to hear anymore. Pippin was waiting by the door. I opened it for him, and we stepped out into the sun. The cool breeze rippled through our hair. We walked for a while, not speaking. I decided to break the ice. 

"What's on your mind?" 


	4. On the Stony Bench

A/N: I am a busy person, having to study for my end-of-the-year exams and all. But I am not to busy to forget my stories. This chapter was particularly hard to write, because I needed to think of ways for it to go. It was difficult to write, and may not sound so great, because I don't think I gave it 100% effort. But I tried, so I hope you like it. And remember, a little R&R never hurt anyone! 

BTW, the comment about Diamond not being able to be there to feed the baby, I thought about for a long time, and decided to change Nip's age to six months. At that age, babies have more tolerate stomachs, and so I think that, even though hobbits are primitive society, they may have done like people in Medieval England. Poor peasants lived in bad conditions, and sometimes a mother would die after her child's birth. If no midwife was found, they could sew up a little pouch made of animal skin and rubber and the baby would drink cow's milk or goat's milk out of that. So that's how I resolved this. Thanks for letting me know, however! Big help! 

This is in Merry's POV again.   
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A new layer of frost covered the ground outside, and the frozen leaves crunched along the ground as we walked. In bare feet, hobbits do feel the cold of the ground, but it doesn't affect us much. The bottoms of our feet are tough and the curly hair is like a blanket. With jackets on, and no distraction because of uncovered feet, it makes it easier for both Pippin and I to focus on what has just happened. 

Long years have passed since we walked together. We would talk indoors, or sit outside, but we have not walked together since we were young. We haven't had much time for childish things either. Since we returned home from our long journey with the Fellowship, facing dangers and fighting monsters, we've both grown up so much. On the very same morning we discovered Frodo and Sam heading to Bree, Pippin and I had been raiding Farmer Maggot's field. But when we returned to the Shire the next fall, things had changed, and our home was in danger, and Pippin and I showed our bravery. Things were changing even now, and as I looked at Pippin, I didn't know if things would ever be the same. 

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him. He looked at me, and then turned away. For the few seconds I caught a glimpse of his eyes, I saw something I'd never seen there before--plain fear. Even when we'd been held captive by the Uruk-hai, we both held on to one another, and the only thing we feared was separation. And when we were separated, we longed for each other, perhaps afraid that we would never see one another again, but I don't think either of us felt plain fear. What I saw in Pippin's eyes frightened me as well, and I put a hand on his shoulder. He was shaking so violently, but I could not tell from looking at him. I wanted for nothing more than us to be young children again, so I could take him into my arms and hold him until he felt better. That was the way things went then. But that was then, and this is now. 

"What do you think I'm thinking about?" He snapped. I knew him much better than that. Behind his feigned anger, I felt his fear. I led him over to a small rock formation. We'd played on it often as children, and it resembled a bench. I forced Pippin down to sit, and then took a seat next to him. 

"Why are you angry at me?" I asked him. He gazed upon me in absolute disbelief. 

"Why shouldn't I be?" He exclaimed ."My little daughter is dead, and you're not sad at all, are you?" 

"What are you talking about?" I cried, eyes wide. "I was the one who went with _your_ son, the one who had to explain what had happened to her to him. I know you're hurting, but you--" 

Pippin's cold laugh brought an abrupt end to my speech. "Of course, that's right, I'd forgotten. You always have to do everything. I'm always in the wrong. Everything's always my fault. Gandalf fell in Moria because I knocked that skeleton down the well. It was my fault we were kidnapped by the Uruks. I was the one who fell under spell to the Palantir. There are a lot more, and you know it. You've always silently blamed everything on me." 

"That's a lie, and you know it!" I gasped, astonished he would even think such things. "Perhaps your foolishness did have some part in Gandalf falling to Shadow in Moria, but it was not entirely your fault. And we both were at fault for running right into the Uruks arms at Amon Hen, that couldn't have been prevented. As the for Palantir incident, I don't think it was anyone's fault but The Dark Lord's, and you couldn't help that. And think of the things you've done that were good. You and I saved many lives when our home was in trouble. If we hadn't made it, it you and I hadn't done anything, there wouldn't be a Shire now. And remember when we helped storm Isengard with the Ents? That was partly your doing. You helped convince them to go to war. You told Treebeard to turn around south, so that he could see what Saruman had done. Perhaps it wasn't your intent, but it did work. And don't forget Faramir, you saved his life as well! There are plenty of things you've done that you aren't even thinking of." 

He was silent for a moment, then his angry gaze stared back at me. "But you were always smarter that I. You always thought of the best plans, and the best ways to get us out of trouble. When we were young, you could talk your way out of anything. It didn't work for me, all I had to do was stand there and be a darling little child, and no one would think anything of it. But you were always smarter and more clever that I am." 

"Do you want to know why? It's because I'm older. I'm older and I've been alive longer than you, eight years longer, exactly. That's mainly the reason, Pippin. It has nothing to do with anything. You're just as wise as I am, I just know more." 

"And another thing, I'm sick of being your shadow! It was always 'Merry and Pippin,' never 'Pippin and Merry.' You always got the top billing. Everyone liked you better anyway. I was just a tag-a-long, wasn't I, Merry? Answer me. That's how you always thought of me, isn't it? Just a stupid little cousin who never left you alone." 

"Why are you talking like this? You weren't a tag-a-long, and I never, ever thought you were. Sometimes you were a nuisance, only when I was just started to like you for a playmate. When you were a baby, I thought you were noisy and loud and boring, but most eight-year-old boys would think that about baby cousins. As you got older, I grew to like you, and now we're closer than brothers." 

"Are we?" 

"We......what?" 

"I said, 'Are we?' You never seem to come visit us anymore. You only came this time because Diamond wanted to visit Estella. If she hadn't, we never would have seen you. Did you realise that?"  
  
  
"Pippin, I'm Master of Buckland. I'm in charge of the largest area in the Shire. I'm busy. I try and come to see you as much as I can, but sometimes, I can't." 

"Well, Merry, if you haven't noticed, I'm Thain of the Shire. I'm busy too. I have lots of work, but I would always find time to come see you. You don't think that highly of me, apparently, do you?" 

"Pippin, I never said--" 

"You did! Don't kid yourself. You wouldn't care at all if I died, would you?" His eyes flashed a look of pure hatred. "You don't care for anyone but yourself, do you, Master Braldagamba?" 

I flinched. "You are very stupid, or else very bold, Peregrin Took." I said to him. He ignored me, turned around, slid down off the rock, and fell to the ground. His body began to shake, and strange noises came from him. I realised he was crying. I slid down to sit next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry, Merry. I don't know why I said that." 

"It's all right. I never thought...Nothing. Tell me why you're crying." 

"I miss her. I know it's probably not right that I should be saying this, but I would give up my own life if she would be allowed to live. I miss her so much. It was just six months, but we all fell in love with her. She was...so perfect. I can't--" He couldn't go on, and broke down in tears. Then, he leaned against me and put his head on my shoulder. I put my hand in his hair and rubbed it gently. 

"Shhh, it's all right, stop crying. Your little one wouldn't want you crying. And you have to keep your head up." 

"I don't know if I can," He said softly, lifting his head from my shoulder and wiping his tears away. 

"You must. Do it for Faramir. And for Diamond. Keep strong for them, they'll expect you to be strong. You need to stay strong for your family." 

"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can." 

"Listen to me, you can. You're strong, I know you better than you think." 

"Am I really that strong inside?" He asked. "Could I really get through this? I want my son to know that everything will be all right, but how can I tell him? You're much better at these things than I am." 

"Go inside and talk to him. He needs you now, more than ever. I may be an adult as well, but he needs his father most of all." 

Pippin got up and started for the house. When he saw that I wasn't following him, he came back and sat down. 

"Did you really care that she's gone?" 

"Of course I did! I don't know if there are words to describe how I'm feeling. I want to help you, and I want to help Faramir. Are you going to be all right?" 

"Yes, I'll be fine." 

"Go talk to your son." 

"Merry..." 

"I'm just going to stay out here for a while." 

"Keep a lookout for a carriage. Diamond should be coming back today. Or tomorrow perhaps. I don't even remember." 

"It's all right. Go on. Go talk to Faramir, Pippin." 

He turned and went towards the house. His son had fallen asleep in the rocking chair in Niphredil's nursery room. For the first time since her death, did Pippin's eyes came across his dead baby girl, and he could not help himself, falling to tears. He eased himself into another chair. He would be there when Faramir woke up. But not for Niphredil. It was too late for her. 

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A/n: I'm planning on giving Merry and Estella some children in the future, and would like my readers' input on names for their two children. Some of my own ideas for their son are: Boromir, Eomer, Theoden, and Eothain. I haven't thought of anything for a daughter, but I don't want her to have a flower name unless it's really pretty. That's all I have so far, but if you guys have any input, please let me know! 


End file.
